Building Intentional Community and Appreciative Culture

Building all three types of social capital requires diligence to support people through the four stages of any successful relationship.

In the honeymoon phase, people have inspiring but unrealistic expectations based on some form of the Drama Triangle, e.g., I will be rescued, I will rescue, etc.

The disillusionment stages occur as reality pushes back on these fantasies, and people start to feel disappointed when their expectations go unmet.

The insight stage is the building of a more realistic and productive relationship. The working stage is the continued deepening and strengthening of the relationship over time, which leads to achieving mutual goals.

Building a Productive and Appreciative Culture

What allows people to move through the four stages of relationship building across socioeconomic class lines and achieve goals? Building a community culture that includes effective ground rules and rituals, which follow:

Open meetings with New and Goods—personal good-news item that gets people thinking positively and sharing some parts of their life, which makes it easier for others to connect to them over time.

Finish meetings with appreciations that acknowledge something positive about others and increases the sense of belonging and esteem of all members.

Give everyone at least six mistakes a day so that they are willing to take risks to build new relationships without worrying about making mistakes. Normalize the inevitable stepping on each other’s hidden rules and help one another to forgive and forget.

Learn more: Transformational Leadership: A Framework to End Poverty ~ By Scott C. Miller

To learn more about Scott Miller, please see his website here.