Asking For Help
“Circles changed me–I’m more comfortable with myself. There’s help out there, and it’s OK to ask. “
– Yakilin, Circles Davis County, UT
What if hard work isn’t enough to break the barriers keeping a person in poverty? In this video you’ll meet Yakilin, a single parent who buried herself in work to cope with loneliness and economic anxiety. When Yakilin stepped out of her comfort zone and joined Circles USA, she built bonds that empowered her to reach out in times of need—giving and receiving support within a caring, non-judgmental community.
“Yakilin showed a lot of courage in being willing to share her story with us,” reflects Natalie Martyn, director of photography and editor of Circles USA’s Lives Transformed film series. “I could tell how deeply she’s thought about her journey, and I appreciate the example she sets for her kids and her community.”
FOR A DEEPER LOOK: What is Circles? Become an Ally
Building a Business
“Circles is not a quick fix; it’s a permanent fix. They want you to succeed for life, not for the moment. “
– Pam, Circles Upstate, SC
An often-overlooked path out of poverty is entrepreneurship. Pam, the Circle Leader featured in today’s video, is a single mom in Greenville, South Carolina. She had big goals for her family, yet she struggled to meet them with her income from cleaning houses. Her friends at Circles USA helped her turn her expertise into a successful small business.
“Pam was the first Circle Leader I met,” recalls Natalie Martyn, director of photography and editor of Circles USA’s Lives Transformed film series. “It was through my time with her that I began to understand just how impressive Circles is on a personal level. Arnold was also the first Ally I met, and it was nice to see him interact with Pam’s kids. And I loved Pam’s dog, Trixie!”
FOR A DEEPER LOOK: Reducing Poverty Through Entrepreneurship
Budgeting and Saving
“I feel more secure because of my time at Circles. I feel more joy because I know that I have that support system there. “
– Ashon, Circles Troup County, GA
Budgeting and other financial skills can help families move from surviving to thriving. Here, healthcare worker Ashon describes her first Circles USA meeting as “A breath of fresh air”…one that would connect her with the support network she needed to reach her savings goal and build an emergency fund to sustain her family through unexpected setbacks.
Natalie Martyn, director of photography and editor of Circles USA’s Lives Transformed film series, also found a breath of fresh air in her visit with Ashon’s family and chapter. “Ashon and I both eat vegan food,” she remembers, “so we connected about vegan cheese! She convinced me to try Waffle House–which was a lot better than I expected. Her son Ja’Shon was so sweet to film; we captured some lovely family photos of them as well.”
FOR A DEEPER LOOK: Social Capital: The Key to Poverty Alleviation
Education and Self-Confidence
“I’m really proud that I can show my kids I’m doing these hard things. I’m making it, and they’re going to make it too. “
– April, Circle Leader, Circles Green Bay, WI
Social isolation can lead to “survival mode”—an exhausting cycle that traps people in poverty. April, a young mother in WI, felt stalled in her life and wanted to build meaningful connections in her community. As a Circle Leader in her Green Bay, WI CUSA chapter, April found Allies that helped her access the self-confidence she needed to prioritize self-care, further her education, and pursue professional credentials.
Natalie Martyn, director of photography and editor of Circles USA’s Lives Transformed film series, recalls: “April was part of a group lunch we had in Green Bay. I specifically remember how everyone encouraged April to appreciate herself for the hard work she put into school and for earning high grades. We wish we had been able to include Johnna Beth (Jeff’s wife and April’s second Ally) in the interviews, but unfortunately she was out of town when we were filming.”
FOR A DEEPER LOOK: What is Circles? Become an Ally
“The name of the organization says a lot: If you don’t know somebody in your immediate circle, they know somebody in their circle “
– Khyle, Circles Leader, Circles Columbus, GA
My mom was a single parent, but she always made the best of it so that it didn’t appear we were struggling. We didn’t have a great financial situation though — she didn’t know a lot about how finances worked when I was growing up. Had there been a Circles program back then, I’m sure my mom would have loved to attend it.
I had studied business and finance in school, but for a long time I was doing a lot of warehouse work. I have epilepsy, and I was doing jobs that weren’t safe for my medical condition. I had to find something that was safer, but I didn’t know how to start that journey. I went into the rent office one day, and they had a flyer for Circles. Your goals aligned with my goals. So I gave Circles a call.
Circles matched me with volunteer Allies who were able to support me, even if I just needed someone to talk to. Anything that would have set me back, I had help. I love my Allies, Jane Wilson, and a couple named Scott and Mary-Virginia Wehrenberg. I love them being in my corner. The name of the organization says a lot: If you don’t know somebody in your immediate circle, they know somebody in their circle.
Circles helped me create SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timebound) Goals, too. For the first time, I looked at the way I save versus the way I spend. When you go to school for business, they show you how to keep a book balance. But you still may not know you shouldn’t be spending over 30% of your income. It’s a lot of info that should have been brought up in high school or college or earlier on.
With the professional communications tools that I developed in Circles, I learned how to talk to different people in the workplace. It gave me the tools I needed to first gain an entry level job in a call center. Within two years, I won the job of business analyst.
And Circles is such a family atmosphere. My kids developed a strong friendship with the children of my Allies—I loved that. They would be excited to show me things they learned in the Circles youth program about saving money. Anytime I knew there was a workshop coming up, I made sure we were there. I wish I’d had someone to teach me those things when I was their age, and now I want to make sure they know.
To those considering joining Circles, or funding Circles, or volunteering with Circles, do it! This is a good thing. The education and the staff and the relationships are all life-changing.”
“Circles is truly circles. It comes back around and it benefits so many people. “
– Deb, Circle Leader, Circles Troup County, GA
I grew up in New Hampshire with my three brothers and my parents. We lived in a one-bedroom trailer. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and my dad was a mechanic. We often didn’t have enough food. My dad didn’t want anyone to know we were poor, so we never got any help – not even free lunch at school.
I got into a lot of financial difficulty with my ex-husband through the years; he broke the law and left me with no car, no money and two weeks to find a place to live. I had been driving a school bus for students with disabilities for a couple of years, but I couldn’t make it on that salary. I didn’t think that I was living in poverty. But I needed help; I felt like I was being swallowed.
I heard about Circles when a staff member, Holly Roberts, came to one of our bus driver meetings. I knew I needed to make some changes and so I wanted to try out Circles. When I drove to my first Circles meeting, I sat in my car. It was literally the first time I’d done anything since my divorce. I hadn’t gone to church or any activities—nothing. I did finally get out of the car and go to the meeting, but honestly, I was embarrassed because I knew some of the people. But I was surprised: everyone was so welcoming to me, and eventually it got easier.
Circles has helped me make connections that have changed my life, and they have made all the difference to my mental health. I had Facebook memories popping up all the time, traumatizing me. I realized I needed to turn off that feed. So that became a first goal. I wrote it down and gave it to Holly, our Circles coach, and she made sure I owned up to it. My Circles people connected me with a great counselor too, and I’ve made progress. These early successes gave me hope and the belief that I could continue going forward.
Making goals for financial stability was really hard. The first time we did a goal-building activity in Circles, I didn’t have one. Why would I have a goal? It’s not going to go anywhere, I thought. It’s easy to get frustrated and say, I can’t deal. And then the disappointment keeps building and building. But I knew that I wanted to buy a house. So we did the pie charts to show how much you should spend, and then we did the budget. Circles helped me figure out how to increase my credit score. I started paying off my credit cards. I saved all my extra unemployment money toward the down payment and moving costs. When my lease was up, I stayed with my daughter for a month and saved that month of home bills. Honestly, I couldn’t have done it without Holly saying ‘You can do this! You CAN do this!’ In the summer of 2020, I bought a house!
And my Circles connections have worked to help so many of my students with disabilities on the bus that I drive, it’s just amazing. Some students are close to homeless. I’ve had kids on my bus that lived in tents. We work together at Circles so we can afford Christmas presents for them. I have shopped for every kid on my bus. I always thought that if I changed one student’s life, that’s a lot. But now I’m changing all of these lives. Circles is truly circles. It comes back around and it benefits so many people.
Circles has connected me to so many people and so many resources. Sometimes it’s big, sometimes it’s just encouragement, but it saved my life.
“All my well-being now, I got it from people in Circles. It’s perseverance and trust.“
– Patricia, Circles Leader, Circles Simcoe County, Ontario, Canada
I grew up with my grandparents in El Salvador. When I was 18, my life took a drastic turn when I stayed with my girlfriend’s family overnight, against my father’s wishes. Then all the changes happened in my life because my children’s father didn’t allow me to do anything. I later had three children by my girlfriend’s brother. He was a very abusive person. I escaped El Salvador with my three young children in 1990. We left our home country and went through Mexico and the United States with only the clothes we were wearing. I left everything I knew for the dream of things to come.
By 2018, I had been living in Canada for 25 years. My life was not good when I came here; I was using Ontario Works (social assistance), facing depression and anxiety, and I couldn’t make financial ends meet. I met a Circles staff member, Vicki Hannan, when I was taking classes at the local library—any course that was free, I’d take it! So when Vicki called and explained the Circles model to me, I said, “okay.”
I was like a zombie when I started Circles classes. I didn’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas. I didn’t have the education I needed. When you’re experiencing poverty, you’re ashamed. You lack a lot of things that can get you ahead in life. Then the universe opened up for me. My angels came. Little by little I started to feel more at ease with everyone there, and I began to understand: I have to get up and do something for my life. Circles helped me see why I was struggling, the trauma that I carry from my past.
In Circles, we go and work in the garden, we celebrate things. A lot of us get jobs. I went back to school for additional English classes and then graduated as a Personal Support Worker; now I’m employed through the County of Simcoe and I’m doing something that I love to do—working with the elderly in hospitals and in hospice. And I was able to realize the goal of purchasing my car!
I open up to my Ally, Simone Latham, about everything, and she’ll listen to me. We have fun, we spend time outdoors in the snow. And she’s always there—our partnership is made in heaven.
All my well-being now, I got it from people in Circles. It’s perseverance and trust. We come with different problems in life; but in Circles, it doesn’t matter. We’ve got you. We’re gonna be patient with you. There is nothing in this life if we aren’t together, if we’re not giving a little bit of love to each other.
“My situation isn’t perfect yet, but Circles has perfectly prepared me for my journey out of poverty.“
– Vivian, Circle Leader, Circles Ashland, VA
Even though I was born into generational poverty, I knew where I wanted to go with my life. I just didn’t know how to get there. My three children and I were receiving food stamps, and to make ends meet, I was working two to three jobs. It seemed like I was working all the time and there was no end to this pattern.
One day, the principal at the school where I worked told me about Circles. She said it wasn’t a handout, but it could help me get out of my situation. At my first visit, I felt an instant connection. Everyone was personal and friendly. This welcoming atmosphere encouraged me to get started. The matching process connected me with the perfect Allies.
My Allies have supported me as I have worked to meet my goals. Their experiences and expertise were the perfect fit for the kind of financial and educational support I wanted. Since I became a Circle Leader, I’m not on food stamps anymore, and my family and I are living in a newer rental. I started school, and I will finish my bachelor’s degree next summer. My five-year plan includes becoming a homeowner for the first time and completing a master’s degree in school counseling.
Being a part of Circles during the Covid-19 pandemic has been life-giving for me. Even though we were physically apart, Covid brought us closer together because we were all feeling this crisis in a similar way. Our Circles community met each week through Zoom, and our program leaders delivered food to our homes. Unfortunately, I couldn’t work for three months during the shutdown, so my savings got depleted. Lots of us had financial issues during this time, so our program leader pointed us toward resources for assistance. Circles reminded me that I was not alone in these challenges.
The most difficult part of life during this pandemic was the tragic death of one of my children this past Mother’s Day. My Circles community supported my family in amazing ways. One of the program leaders had gone through a similar death of a child and suggested counselors for my family. She also brought food twice a day for several weeks. This kind of deep support has impacted me tremendously. When I felt like I couldn’t go on, the support from Circles reminded me of my own strength and the strength ofour community.
Circles has reinforced generosity as a way of life for me. I have received so much from my Circles family in termsof resources, knowing what’s available in the community, and people who care. I am now passing these things along to other Circle Leaders. My next step is to become an Ally with our next group of Circle Leaders so I can pay it forward.
“My story isn’t special. It’s the story of so many people that don’t have the ability to tell theirs.“
– Amber, Circles Leader, Circles Green Bay, WI
When I found Circles, I was at rock bottom. I was homeless and couch surfing with my two-year-old daughter who has cystic fibrosis. I was working three jobs, had five case workers, and still couldn’t find housing. I was running out of money and resources and looking for some direction. I heard about Circles while attending a required job readiness training class. I liked what I heard, but I also could tell that I would not benefit from this program unless I went all in. And so I did.
I have made a lot of progress, but that hasn’t come without significant setbacks. As of today, I am halfway to where I want to be. I have a good-paying job in a position that I am relatively good at. I have achieved the Circles goal of 200% of the poverty level. But along the way I got nailed with the cliff effect, twice! I got a great job and then an unbelievable raise within two months of being hired. With each increase in pay, I lost benefits that my pay increases didn’t make up for. I felt particularly distraught when I lost medical benefits for my daughter. But my Allies were there for me. They picked up food for me, helped get my daughter to doctor’s appointments while I was at work, and reminded me constantly that I was doing much better than I had been just a few of months before. They provided the support system that I desperately needed.
When the pandemic hit, it felt like just one more blow. I was worried about my daughter since we weren’t able to leave home. However, our Circles chapter decided to go virtual during the shutdown, so that helped. More importantly, both our Allies and other Circle Leaders regularly checked in on us—especially since they knew my daughter missed her friends from Circles. Our Circles director and coaches have been creative in orchestrating in-person, socially distanced, outdoor activities this past summer that allowed my daughter to interact with her friends again. These activities are helping my daughter recognize the voices and needs of others.
The last two years have taught me that there are no limits to what I am capable of achieving. I have achieved a lot on my own, but Circles people have helped me recognize capabilities that I didn’t know I had. I did not know that I could stand in front of a crowd of people. I didn’t know that I could be a part of changing the system that has failed me and so many others. I didn’t know that sharing my story could make a difference. I didn’t know that I had enough courage to acknowledge my own actions that brought me into poverty. I’m now involved in local politics and working to address minimum wage and other issues that affect people in poverty.
My story is not extraordinary, but now I’m not afraid to share it. When I started Circles, I was homeless. But I worked hard, started a new career, and graduated from Circles. Now I give back as an ambassador to the community. I am not done with Circles because the system has to change. It is not good enough that I made it. This is a struggle for so many people. People shouldn’t have to work three jobs and be homeless. They shouldn’t have to lose their childcare benefits or fall off any other cliff when something is just beginning to go right for them. I’m doing something about it!
For me, thriving means not living under the anxiety and fear that what I have is all going to go away. I don’t feel that fear the way I used to. Circles has provided people to help me overcome life’s rough spots, which has opened opportunities for me to advocate for others and make lasting systemic changes.
“I didn’t have healthy role models growing up. Because of Circles, I am becoming the parent I want to be for my kids.“
– Eve, Circle Leader, Circles Derby, KS
I grew up moving around a lot because my dad was a drug dealer and both my parents were users. At the age of 10, my mom died from Hepatitis C. My dad got remarried when I was 11, but I never felt accepted by my stepmom. I attempted suicide and ran away from home for my own safety. Unfortunately, I kicked a police officer who thought he was helping me by trying to take me home. This resulted in me being charged with battery of a law enforcement officer, and I was put into foster care.
I bounced around different homes—some within my own family—but I was so traumatized from my young childhood that I tried to take my own life again. At this point, my dad completely abandoned me, and I spent the rest of my childhood in a group home for children. This was the first place I experienced stability.
When I was 17, I tried to go back to my dad, but my stepmom wouldn’t allow it. I then met a 29-year-old and married him. We had three children and divorced when my youngest child was just 2 years old. I met another man who seemed amazing but started abusing me within a year and almost killed me. Two more abusers were part of my life after this, and I lived in fear for several years. I lost job after job due to PSTD and constant worry about someone coming after me. My sister helped me move to a different city and got me connected with a case manager. I thought I was doing OK because my kids were fed and my bills were paid, but the case manager pointed out that I was getting help from the food bank and local churches. She ultimately helped change my life because she introduced me to Circles.
I was learning how to rebuild my life as I worked my way through the Circle Leader training. After I finished the training, I moved to another city and contacted the Circles chapter there. The director asked me, “What do you want for your life, Eve?” And this helped me take the steps needed to move out of a roach-infested apartment and start saving enough money to buy a house. Circles has given me the strength to hope for something better for my family and gain the tools and connections to make it happen. Getting my high school diploma was one of the goals that my Circles family wouldn’t let me give up on even though there was a pandemic. I had dreamed of what it would be like to wear a cap and gown, and when my graduation ceremony was canceled, my Circles family hosted a ceremony just for me. I wore my cap and gown! It was better than I imagined and all the more special because I was celebrating with the people who had cheered me on all along the way! I started college in August, 2020. I have been clean and sober for over six years and now serve as the Coach for my local Circles chapter.
Circles has provided a place of stability for both me and my children. Even though I didn’t have loving and supportive parents as a child, the director of my Circles chapter has modeled the kind of care and concern I want to give my own children. Now I have the opportunity to do that for my kids and other Circle Leaders.
As the Circles Coach, I have a special bond with each Circle Leader because I have something in common with each person. Childhood trauma? I experienced a lot. Addiction? I’ve been there. Abuse? I am a survivor. That connection with our Circle Leaders has been really valuable during Covid-19. I call my Circle Leaders every week to check in and encourage them, to make sure they keep moving toward their goals. It has taken a lot of extra work, but it is worth it. It helps me keep going on my goals too! I want to encourage others who are experiencing the same challenges I had.
“Circles opened the door to finding my passions and following my dreams.“
– Alyssa, Circles Leader, Circles Clearfield, Utah
My family never worried about money until 2013 when my parents divorced. I was 14. This created some big changes for my mom, my brothers, and me. We went from a six-figure income to living on government assistance of a thousand dollars a month. It was hard for my mom to ask for help, but one day while at the local food bank, she heard about Circles and decided to give it a try.
My mom and I were both pretty shy, so when we first started going to Circles, we tended to hide in the corner and didn’t really talk until someone talked to us. I wasn’t old enough to be with the adults, so I played games with the kids. After awhile, I started to see a change in my mom. She saw how everyone at Circles was friendly and welcoming. Because everyone really cared about each other, she believed it was worth it to keep going. Once my mom completed the training and was matched with an Ally, she really started coming out of her shell—and so did I.
I wanted to make Circles a better experience for teenagers like me. So I talked to Lamont Hampton, ourchapter director, and he encouraged me to start a program for teens. I began with the financial literacy curriculum used in my high school and quickly financial changes. I wanted teens to understand how credit works and how to get a loan or even buy a house. I looked for other teenagers who were passionate about these issues and asked them to become Allies for our youth in Circles. We even started a podcast, “Poverty from the Mindset of a Teen,” and recorded three sessions before Covid-19 struck.
Even though life during the pandemic has been tough, our Circles chapter has kept going. We have actually helped our community grow closer despite the need for physical distance. Part of that included “Circles Invasions” where we offered Zoom sessions five days a week using a different theme each day. We connected online and even did yoga together. We didn’t stop with virtual connection. People from Circles dropped off fun snacks and organized surprise birthday messages in chalk on sidewalks and driveways for our Circles family. There has been so much caring and encouragement throughout this time.
Last winter, my mom became the first college graduate in her family when she graduated with her RN. She became a licensed nurse this past September. I am so proud of her! I’m following her lead and have started college. I am going to be a lawyer and advocate for the wrongly accused. But just because I’m in college doesn’t mean I have stopped going to Circles. It may be a 45-minute drive, but I’d drive a lot farther than that for Circles. Circles has changed me. I’m no longer the shy kid hiding in the background. I have found my voice and know that I can be a part of creating something positive for other youth. Circles has opened up opportunities for me to lead and helped me heal from the trauma connected with poverty. I can think of nothing better than to do the same for other youth like me!
“I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be clean for seven years. But my life now is so worth it.“
– Hiedi, Circle Leader, Circles Clearfield, UT
I grew up in poverty in Ogden, Utah. I was one of six kids. My dad worked in machine maintenance. My mom worked at a gas station and later as a wait-ress. Still, we lived on food stamps in a house beyond repair. The kitchen didn’t have much of a ceiling; we had to bring out buckets when it rained.
At 16, I left home, dropped out of school because I was pregnant, and moved in with my boyfriend. I tried methamphetamines as a way of losing weight after my pregnancy and became addicted. I had four children within four years, and at different times, I lost custody of all of them.
I went back to school and earned my high school diploma at age 22. When the relationship with my boyfriend ended, I moved back home with my par-ents and tried to start over. But when I got together with some old friends, I started using meth again. I ended up marrying someone who supplied me with the drug. But it didn’t last as I was trying to stop us-ing and trying to regain custody of my youngest.
My drug addiction ended when I met James in the fall of 2010. James said, “Meth or me?” and I chose him. We were married the following summer.
James grew up all over the country. His mom worked for the government, and his dad and the stepfathers who followed all worked in the military. Despite being born with two club feet, James always had a job after high school, working as an electrician or a carpenter in residential construction. He was married for a while and had two sons. As an adult, he lived in Virginia, New Jersey and Georgia before moving here to Utah.
James and I had been married for a couple of years, and he had a good job working as a robot technician when the pain in his ankles grew so un-bearable he could hardly walk. An orthopedic sur-geon found the cartilage in both ankles was nearly gone, and surgery was required. James lost his job because it took two years to recover from the surger-ies. He found a part-time, minimum-wage job, but it wasn’t enough to cover the bills.
For two years, we were living paycheck to pay-check. We assumed we were stuck in poverty. We put carpet over the holes in the floor of our trailer, and each month we had to choose a different bill to pay because we couldn’t afford all of them. The medical bills piled up.
A friend at church told me about a brand new pro-gram he was involved with called Circles, and I figured it couldn’t hurt. I knew that if we went to Circles, we’d at least get a hot meal each week.
The more James and I went to Circles, the more we learned. Speakers came in and talked about re-pairing credit. Our classmates became our friends. And James and I were assigned an Ally named Jason, who is the most wonderful person.
Jason helped us fix our credit, which had been de-stroyed by debt from medical bills, a vehicle that was repossessed, and outstanding utility payments.
What seemed impossible was possible. And James and I set goals, such as putting aside money for a home and a car and saving for emergencies.
During this time, James got a great job as a ma-chine operator making parts for aircraft at an aero-space corporation. We were in Circles for about two years when we officially crossed over the poverty line, earning 200% of the Federal Poverty Level Guide-lines. While this marked our graduation from Circles, we were asked to return as volunteer Allies. We want to serve others the way Jason had served us. James can’t attend the Circles meetings because he works a second shift, but I go and plan to continue volunteer-ing as long as Circles is here.
We purchased our first home this year, and my husband got the car he’s been dreaming about: a tur-bocharged Nissan Altima.
I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be clean for seven years. But my life now is so worth it. I’m mar-ried to my best friend. My youngest, who is 16, lives with us. And I get to raise my son’s 1-year-old son.
“I’m very happy with my life. It’s a confidence boost to do what many women can’t do: I got my life together without a man.“
– Lola, Circles Leader, Circles Newaygo, MI
The reason I didn’t grow up in poverty was that my mom had a husband with a good job. But my mom struggled with alcohol, and sometimes when she wasn’t around, her boyfriend would abuse me. This went on for years, and I was 11 before I fully understood what was happening and spoke out. When I did, he went to prison, and we lost everything. At age 12, I tried to commit suicide twice and was hospitalized both times.
Desperate for attention, I ended up partying in high school. It felt like my life was a tornado, and I didn’t know how to stop it. I became pregnant just before I turned 17 and ended up dropping out of school. It was my senior year.
At 18, I moved to Grand Rapids hoping to start a new life with my baby girl. I lived with my cousin, watching her kids while she worked. I hated men because of the abuse I had endured as a child, and yet I felt like I needed a man in my life in order to feel loved. Babysitting each day, I felt like I was missing out on life so I started going out with friends. I began a relationship with a new guy, moved in with him, and became pregnant.
I was 19 when my son was born, and I struggled with postpartum depression. My relationship with my son’s father ended, and I began a 5-year period of working part-time but never having stable housing. The kids and I moved from my mom’s house to a boyfriend’s house, to a boyfriend’s mom’s house to my sister’s house.
I moved in with a new boyfriend after getting pregnant once again, but unfortunately, this relationship was abusive. He would physically hurt me, and I was unkind with the words I used. I feared my kids would be injured, so we’d leave only to try again later. All I ever wanted was a happy family, but the cycle of abuse, apology and forgiveness kept repeating. My life was a mess.
I earned money working for a Realtor, cleaning houses after people had been evicted. I also helped my mom clean houses and office buildings. My brother got me a job planting onions and then sorting and bagging onions. I kept working but never earned enough to have my own apartment.
Eventually, my aunt took us in. When I was filling out an application for free Christmas toys for my kids, there was a flyer for Circles. Hearing it was an 18-month program scared me, but my aunt encouraged me and pointed out that the Circles meetings included dinner and childcare. At first I would attend but sit alone. Then I warmed up to it.
My aunt was my ally, and Circles gave me more “Allies,” who, like my aunt, were positive and offered different perspectives. Circles taught me how to speak up for myself and how to ask for a raise. I also learned how to process my thoughts. When my thoughts get out of control, I write them out in the form of goals, and it removes the stress. It was tough and embarrassing to talk about my past. Now I talk about my life with tears, yes, but with the thought of “thank God I’m not that person anymore.” I’ve gained parenting skills. I know how to budget. My kids are only 11, 9 and 4, but I’m already teaching them about credit.
I’ve also learned how to set goals. I started with short-term goals, such as saving $20 a week, and achieving my short-term goals put me in the mood to set long-term goals. My long-term goals included paying off some debt to fix my credit score. My goals included getting my own place for me and my kids where I could pay my own bills, keep insurance on my car, and get ready for homeownership. I’ve accomplished all of these goals, and in early 2019, I plan to start the process of purchasing my own home.
I’m now 28 and work full-time for a financial services company in the accounting department. I earn about $24,000 per year after taxes, so I’m still eligible for food stamps and healthcare. But I pay for rent and childcare. I’ve been in Circles for 18 months, and I plan to stay in it a bit longer. I’m very happy with my life. It’s a confidence boost to do what many women can’t do: I got my life together without a man.
“I was doing everything I knew to get out of poverty. But to my shock, it became apparent that I really knew very little about any other economic class other than my own.“
– Rebecca, Circle Leader, Circles McPherson, KS
I was raised in poverty, and at age 16, I dropped out of high school and left home with a boyfriend. That began a 13-year period of drugs, alcohol and an abusive relationship. We moved from Kansas to Texas to Tennessee to Arkansas to Oklahoma. At age 29, I finally left the boyfriend who was then my husband. Soon after I left, I realized I was pregnant. Thinking of my newborn son and his future, I started college and a job.
I was still struggling with alcohol on and off and with relationships that didn’t last. I had another son and then another. Financial aid helped with tuition, but to make ends meet, I worked as a janitor at my college and as an art instructor for kids. In 2010 when my financial aid ran out, I took a third job as a bartender to cover my final years of tuition. During that time, I stopped by a church that I frequented to receive free diapers. I told the kind lady who handed out the diapers how much those diapers meant to me and how someday I was going to finish school, claim a better life for my kids, and return to give back. She pointed to a flyer about a class called Circles that helps people get out of poverty.
I thought, “What are these people going to teach me about poverty that I don’t already know?” Then I thought, “I’ve gotten so many diapers from this lady that I better sign up!” So I did.
I was doing everything I knew to get out of poverty. But to my shock, it became apparent that I really knew very little about any other economic class other than my own. I learned I was a master at putting out fires but inept as to how to keep them from igniting.
In 2011 I entered Circles scared, broken, exhausted, and suspicious of the program. But I left that first night with hope and was able to admit how alone and vulnerable I had been all those years.
When I started Circles my boys were 9, 5, and 2, and we lived in a trailer with broken windows, holes in the floor, and a faulty water heater. I owned a car, but it was always breaking down. I was at work or at school five or six nights each week, which meant dragging my kids home late in the evening from the babysitter. My school-aged kids struggled with behavior issues. And I felt like a failure as a mother.
Twelve weeks later, I graduated from Circles training. I committed to attending weekly meetings for 18 months. And my classmates and I were matched with middle-class “Allies,” who became our friends.
Everything in my life started falling into place. My name came up for a housing voucher, and we left the trailer park. A friend helped me find a dependable car. And that year, 2012, I became the first person in my family to graduate from college.
I received a paid, part-time position helping with Circles, and the church that housed our Circles office asked me to be the outreach coordinator for the diaper and food ministry. The first time I went to Walmart and filled up the cart with diapers, I could not stop the tears from streaming down my face. I had become the kind lady who helps moms like me.
I set long-term goals with my Allies. I wanted to get my teeth fixed. Thirteen appointments and $1,700 later, I reached that goal. I wanted out of poverty. In early 2014, I was hired as a full-time Circles coach. I was working three jobs at the time, but with this new position, I was finally making enough to officially leave poverty. My third goal was to buy a home. Looking back, I estimated that I had moved 71 times.
In 2016, I remarried. In 2017, I landed a great job directing student services and poverty issues at a large educational consulting company. Today, my boys are 15, 12, and 9. Our household income is $120,000 per year. And, yes, we own a home.
Sometimes I’ll hear a little voice in my head that says, “Rebecca, you’re not poor anymore.” It’s almost unbelievable.
“There’s so much support. It’s a ‘push’ support. They want to see you succeed. They want to see you reach your goals.“
– DeShawn, Circles Leader, Circles Pittsburgh, PA
I was born and raised in Pittsburgh, the second of four kids. And while we grew up in subsidized housing, I didn’t notice we were living in poverty—my mom never showed the struggle. She always had a job. We had a supportive stepdad who was a constant presence in our lives. And we went on outings as a family. I was practically a teenager before I learned we received food stamps.
I completed high school and the U.S. Army Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (JROTC). At 19, I received rental assistance, moved out, and started working full-time at a childcare center earning $6.25 per hour. I had a boyfriend and was shocked when he became physically violent. I had never experienced anything like that growing up. Threats from him forced me to move back home.
Still working, I ventured out on my own again at age 24. I got an apartment and a new boyfriend. At age 25, I had a baby girl. When my daughter turned 2, I started college for nursing, but I couldn’t make it work between my job, going to school, studying, and getting her to and from daycare each day. After two semesters, I dropped out but later completed a certified nursing assistant (CNA) program, which helped me get a job at an adult rehab center.
During the next 10 years, I had two sons and continued to work full-time, supporting three kids. I was earning too much money to receive food stamps but was unable to save any money. I had no hope of owning a home until I was invited to a homeownership class, a class that led to Circles. About five years ago, many families living in the East Liberty neighborhood were displaced and moved into Section 8 housing to make room for a new development. I was one of six people eligible for a program that helps single moms become home-owners. I was in this program when Circles first be-gan in Pittsburgh, and my initial reaction to Circles was no, I didn’t need more meetings. But Circles included childcare and a meal each week, so I agreed to attend.
At the first Circles meeting, I wanted to leave because it seemed the others in my class were struggling with issues much worse than mine. I didn’t talk during the first two meetings, but by the third or fourth meeting, I started opening up. Before we met our Allies, we had 12 weeks of training where we shared our stories and learned about all the barriers that keep people in poverty.
We were nervous the day we met our Allies. I thought, “What can they possibly do for me? These people were born into money. How are we supposed to make this work?” Then I realized they were just as nervous as we were.
I discovered my Allies truly cared about me so I kept going back. I was matched with Quianna, who knew all about homeownership because she had just purchased her first home, and Sarah, who is a budgeting queen and knows a lot of people.
The biggest challenge for me was saving money. I was wasting money eating out and buying little, unnecessary things. I didn’t realize it until I wrote it down. They make you write it all down. It was hard to get a paycheck and put the money away. But I was 42 and had no savings. I didn’t have student loans, but I did have some credit card debt. I didn’t know it was hurting me until I saw my credit score.
When the second Circles group started, I stayed. The program got better with each session. I’m now in the fifth class, and Circles is thriving here. Much of the material I know, but I still need all that support. Our Circles has been so much fun we even have a re-lay team for the Pittsburgh Marathon. I never would have tried this on my own. There’s so much support. It’s a “push” support. They want to see you succeed. They want to see you reach your goals.
At the end of 2018, I purchased a home of my own. My sons’ father is very involved with all three of my kids, who are now 19, 9 and 5. My daughter is a freshman at Seton Hall University. I’m now in charge of scheduling and payroll at the rehab center, and I earn $18.23 per hour. My credit score is 740. I still get excited when I check my credit score every two weeks. It’s a great feeling.