The Learning Curve Chronicles: Dedicated
- Kris Alexander
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
In this monthly blog series, Circles USA Chief Learning Officer Kris Alexander shares insights on her learning journey, sources of inspiration, and what excites her about her work. The column offers a behind-the-scenes perspective on the learning curve that drives growth and progress at CUSA as we continually deepen and enhance our mission of building community to end poverty.
I am currently reading Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing by Pete Davis. You may recognize his name because he is the co-director of Join or Die: A film about why you should join a club…and why the fate of America depends on it, the documentary on Robert Putnam’s research and work on social capital. We at Circles USA are especially excited about this documentary because we know that social capital is the key to ending poverty, and our work is partially based in Putnam’s research.
In fact, we hosted a Join or Die film screening at our Leadership Conference back in October, and we had the honor of welcoming Pete to our November CUSA learning webinar. At the webinar, Pete shared information about Join or Die and offered insight into how chapters can host their own film screenings.
I absolutely love the movie, so I was fangirling a little to spend an hour learning from him. When he mentioned his book, I naturally scooped it up immediately. It is so rich, with about 1,000 quotable ideas; and I am really enjoying his call to fully commit to something—anything—rather than staying in the hallway of life.
I think the crux of Dedicated is this passage:
For many people I know, leaving home and heading out into the world was a lot like entering a long hallway. We walked out of the room in which we grew up and into this world with hundreds of different doors to infinitely browse. And I’ve seen all the good that can come from having so many new options. I’ve seen the joy a person feels when they find a ‘room’ more fitting for their authentic self. I’ve seen big decisions become less painful, because you can always quit, you can always move, you can always break up, and the hallway will always be there. And mostly, I’ve seen the fun my friends have had browsing all the different rooms, experiencing more novelty than any generation in history has ever experienced.
But over time, I started seeing the downsides of having so many open doors. Nobody wants to be stuck behind a locked door—but nobody wants to live in a hallway, either. It’s great to have options when you lose interest in something, but I’ve learned that the more times I jump from option to option, the less satisfied I am with any given option. And lately, the experiences I crave are less the rushes of novelty and more those perfect Tuesday nights when you eat dinner with the friends who you have known for a long time—the friends you have made a commitment to, the friends who will not quit you because they found someone better.
Sounds a lot like a Circles weekly meeting, right?
I really want to hone in on one particular section of the book, “Long-Haul Heroism.” In this chapter, he dives into the importance of commitment in driving systems change. Because of social media, we tend to only witness “Hollywood dragon-slaying,” those moments or events in history that are visible, loud, and seemingly huge. However, those moments—things like standing up for someone being bullied, protests, economic blackouts, helping someone in crisis—don’t actually do much on their own to move us towards our goal of creating large-scale systems change needed in the country. Instead, it is the hours, weeks, months, years, and decades of behind-the-scenes, unglamorous work of ordinary-but-committed people that really moves the needle on progress.
As Davis says about MLK,
“We remember Martin Luther King Jr. for his cinematic dragon-slaying—his iconic speeches and confrontations, but what’s lost is all the long-haul work that queued up those moments. King makes clear in Stride Toward Freedom, his memoir of the Montgomery bus boycott, just how much time he spent in the mundane work of winning the community’s trust, joining local organizations, weaving together coalitions through multiple meetings, and planning efficient public gatherings.
I also recently finished Toxic Charity: How Churches and Charities Hurt Those They Help (and How to Reverse It). In it, author Robert Lupton talks a lot about the damage that short-term service work can do. Well-meaning, untrained folks come into a community for a week or two to build, teach, or provide other services. When those efforts aren’t community led and driven by their needs and desires, it does more harm than good. Yet this is often what we do. It is much easier to host a coat drive or bring in a couple of canned goods than to commit to the long-term, collaborative work of changing inequitable systems permanently.
Personal and systemic transformation is exactly the work of Circles USA. We are not swooping in to “fix” someone’s life. Rather, we come alongside them, listen, learn, and grow together: not only to support individuals and families as they leave poverty, but to discover what the true barriers to thriving are. We work together in community, coming together across lines of difference, to create new systems and practices. When we slow down enough to build deep, lasting, impactful relationships, we discover that permanent systems change is complicated and harder than expected, but also far more meaningful, gratifying, and life-affirming.
Being a part of Circles isn’t “Hollywood dragon-slaying”. In fact, it may sometimes feel like our work isn’t accomplishing much at all. But as Davis reminds us:
“The folk singer Pete Seeger talked about it as a seesaw. One side is planted firmly on the ground, weighed down by boulders. The side in the air has an empty basket atop it. A small group of people patiently work to fill the basket with sand, one teaspoon at a time. The crowd watching scoffs, because nothing is changing. But one day, the whole seesaw is going to flip—not little by little, but all at once. People will ask, “How did it happen so suddenly?” The answer, of course, is all those teaspoons over the years.”
The Circles community’s continued commitment to our Circle Leaders, our chapters, and our regions is the “true dragon-slaying.” We show up again and again, supporting one another, falling in love with our neighbors, and growing together. When the going gets tough—when conflict arises, when the edges of our differences rub against one another uncomfortably—we lean in and root into our commitment. We find ways through and beyond the obstacles. We are doing the work of dragon-slaying, one teaspoon at a time.
Davis and Lupton are really talking about what Circles USA already knows: that relationships, long-term commitment, and dedication are the foundation of community; and community is the heart of systems change, personal change, and…well, everything.
Read more from Kris on her monthly Circles USA blog, The Learning Curve Chronicles:
Building Community to End Poverty in 20+ States
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